I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
