Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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