Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
