It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
