Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
