question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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