so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
