Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
