Are we in a gay sports bar?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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