I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
