I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
