Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
