I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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