Well douche your snatch and let's go!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
worst night to have a conscience
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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