After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
