Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
