FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
