If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
