I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
