Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
