my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
