adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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