i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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