I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
