if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My dick has a subreddit
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
