We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
