my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
