Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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