but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
