all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
