I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
