dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
