Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
