My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And then my night got REAL pukey
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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