Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Hippo gnu deer
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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