i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
