i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
