Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
