that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
