another moral hangover. fuck.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
