so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
smell my finger.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
