At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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