the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
