I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
