TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
