Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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