i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
