I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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