Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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