Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
