very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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