I love black thongs
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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