That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
