I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
